I have recently discovered, let me say again. There are too many people in my life that do not value there, "Word". I have strived all my life to remember what comes out of my mouth defines me, my word is “who I am”, what I am about. I again have been reminded that many people are not anything at all what they present with their words and fall short on action and delivery. To listen to all that” I”, selfishness mumbo jumbo they tell themselves and others to excuse depraved, unmoral and undependable behavior and choices. I think some call the above “Street Smarts”. Well it takes all kinds of smarts to pull the wool over the eyes” who trust”, live by “their word” and put in an honest day for the money they earn. Sadly they will pass this on to the next generation.
Over nine months ago I found myself faced with a choice, to allow our step-granddaughter to live with us as her family unit was dissolving. This also included her mother since if she had no place to go she would be forced to “Leave the state”. Well not wanting to lose our connection with that child we made the choice to take them both on. Now this decision was not made lightly as she was married my son, who again had gone off on some type of tyrant. Daughter-en-law professed how she was even fearful for her life. All the right frosting was used and we took her in. So we were torn, but wanted what was best for the child. We had a sit down and discussed what was expected that if we were to invest love, time and money into the care of this child, the child would be allowed to attend a full year of school. Also the mother would seek out a job or job training. Now you can see by the forgoing we were had. Not only has this been a stressful event as said-mother was unwilling to stay home and care for the child and never even gave on dime of her collected welfare money or child support towards the child’s care. It became very clear quickly that we were to burden all care, all rearing of a troubled teenager. This mother was unable to find a steady job of any kind as she spent weeks away on the search. Our whole lives were disrupted, our finances overburdened and our marriage itself very strained. The child told us horror stories of her life at home, both her mother and her real father. How verbally abusive our son had been, all the fighting, drinking and drugs. We had paid for most everything before she had come to live with us, no one would even buy her bus pass for school. So of course we did. Her teeth were let go so badly she had extractions of adult teeth and the dentist was appalled, we cared for that as well of course. We had to pay for all her vaccinations so she could stay in school and take her to get them. Had her eyes checked, her parents had been told for years she needed glasses, she did. Now she can see to do her homework. No one did her homework with her, for the exception of my son who taught her incorrectly. We provided outside educational support, spent hours ourselves with her. Of course we also handled the teenage attitude and having her rains pulled in after she was allowed to wonder her old stomping grounds with little or no supervision. We took her to youth church group twice weekly. So you can see I am just a little annoyed. To top it off when her mother approached husband requested he lie committing fraud a crime, deceiving the school system since she had no other way and of course she was under the gun with so much to do. Jeopardizing our lives and security without even a concern, in fact her own daughter had to ask her to be civil to us. I almost fell off my chair at the gaul and narcissistic mindset. Yet her word defines her, she treats it like air, she talks a good walk but never put one foot in front of the next. I am sorry for the child as she will be lost in the cesspool of street life and con world. We love her very much and we can do nothing. So not only is this about a child lost, it is also about a life that is being found.
I have been here before, with people I have brought home adopted and have yet to learn how to protect myself who are users. I thought I had it figured out and have isolated myself, become a hermit so to speak. Not the best solution for a bleeding heart like myself. It also puts a huge damper on filling he creative well as I am an artist. I have attempted to get back in the life-stream before and have ended up in similar situations. So I am a slow learner when it comes to not being that easy mark. I will in the future give only donations to my chosen charity and stay away from the hands on approach. I am now involved in making a huge change in my life for the betterment of my health. So this is about progress, changes and learning.
